oh my goodness! it's been 3 and a half years!
can you put a thing like that in the context of time?
is it necessary?
is it important?
some people think i'm crazy
i'm used to that
but when people who i really respect think i'm crazy,
it starts to make me rethink myself
but i never really do
because i know that i am doing the right thing
in my heart
i'm not looking for enlightment
i'm looking for reaching my potential
not even necessarily in a beautiful way
just in a functional way
do you realize how many people out there don't know how to function?
of course you do
because you probably don't know how to function either
but a few of you do. and to be in the presense of someone like that... clarity through the static
it makes everything just make so much sense
that's what i'm looking for
clarity through the static
what's funny is that i keep creating more static around myself
i'm learning to get through it
but i keep creating more
like chasing a soccor ball that you keep kicking. that's exactly what it's like. it's like chasing a soccor ball that you keep kicking.
man, something about the three of our heads together in that room...
the dreams keep coming.
last night i dreamed that i was hanging out in an apartment with wyndra and arnie and ryan, and a storm came outside, and arnie and ryan and i went out onto the porch to experience it, and wyndra said that she wanted to go all the way out into it, and for some reason she took my violin and my cello with her. the storm was incredible, it was really so beautiful, but then a gust of wind came up and blew my cello over and it shattered to pieces and i just started crying and crying. i wasn't even thinking any conscious thoughts, i was just crying, letting my internal world shatter and watching the pieces fall around me.
what would i do in real life if my cello shattered?